For the last couple of weeks, God has been very much on my mind and heart. I have been having a hard time with things because I knew for a while that the person I was staying with wanted me out of her apartment. The morning I left to visit family for Easter, she told me that she really needed me out. I was worried about it the whole week because I had a feeling that she wasn't going to be happy with me when I got back. I was there for one night before she got a bit brash about it. I left that afternoon a bit upset and went to my friend Nikki's dad's place in Long Beach where she's staying.
I know I should have been out a while ago; I wasn't happy being there as I didn't have my own space or privacy and it was stressful. There were too many people in such a small space--we were getting on each others nerves. I haven't gotten a job, so getting my own place or renting a place with friends has been out of the question up until this point. I have wanted to work, because I have been so bored not doing so. I've been so tired of looking for work and not getting any prospects, that I've been tempted to pull my hair out.
I'm thinking about going to Texas with Nikki. I've been praying about it and since I don't have anything holding me down here, it may be the best move for me to make. I was considering moving back up with my parents in WA, but I don't think that's the best option. I don't get along well with my dad when we live under the same roof. Part of it is that my dad doesn't know how to treat me like an adult--I think he still sees me as a kid. Another part of it is that we are so much alike, making it hard to know how to deal with each other.
May 9, 2011
Headcovering Commitment
I have had a hard time committing to covering my head. I go back and forth. Some days I cover, while other days I don't feel like doing so, so I don't cover on those days. I want to, but at times I feel self conscious about it.
I recently renewed my license and in my photo, my head is covered for "religious reasons." So now it validates it even more. It's less of an issue, I guess in a way, because now my official form of identification has a picture of me with a scarf on my head. I still at times feel self conscious about it because I don't personally know any other Christians who head cover. I've been covering since last September and I don't think I will stop unless God tells me to do so.
I recently renewed my license and in my photo, my head is covered for "religious reasons." So now it validates it even more. It's less of an issue, I guess in a way, because now my official form of identification has a picture of me with a scarf on my head. I still at times feel self conscious about it because I don't personally know any other Christians who head cover. I've been covering since last September and I don't think I will stop unless God tells me to do so.
New Beginings
December 13, 2010
Last Friday, I left Job Corps. One of the security guys, Brandon took me down to my dorm to get my stuff right after he got to work, and for half an hour we spent our time loading my stuff into the Durango. On the way down, I warned Brandon I had a lot of stuff, but he wasn't quite prepared for it. My stuff was in the aisle of the AWOL room, and when we got there and he opened the door, he was amazed at how much stuff I had-- 7 boxes and several bags, including a suitcase, hiking backpack, and my school backpack. Brandon got me laughing so much with him picking on me about how much stuff I had, and when I reminded him that I had been there for two years, he told me that in four years of college he hadn't accumulated nearly as much.
When we got back up to the gate, my friend Deedee was there waiting. Given her car wasn't big enough to fit everything, I put only what I absolutely needed into her car. Brandon had offered to put my stuff in the shed at the gate until I could pick it up. He finally went to ask the security manager about driving myself and my boxes out to seaside, who said yes if we could do so in one trip. So we got to spend an extra half an hour together.
We laughed more on the drive-- there were a couple of times when he changed lanes and I looked to see if there was anyone next to us; habit from when I was driving.
Last Friday, I left Job Corps. One of the security guys, Brandon took me down to my dorm to get my stuff right after he got to work, and for half an hour we spent our time loading my stuff into the Durango. On the way down, I warned Brandon I had a lot of stuff, but he wasn't quite prepared for it. My stuff was in the aisle of the AWOL room, and when we got there and he opened the door, he was amazed at how much stuff I had-- 7 boxes and several bags, including a suitcase, hiking backpack, and my school backpack. Brandon got me laughing so much with him picking on me about how much stuff I had, and when I reminded him that I had been there for two years, he told me that in four years of college he hadn't accumulated nearly as much.
When we got back up to the gate, my friend Deedee was there waiting. Given her car wasn't big enough to fit everything, I put only what I absolutely needed into her car. Brandon had offered to put my stuff in the shed at the gate until I could pick it up. He finally went to ask the security manager about driving myself and my boxes out to seaside, who said yes if we could do so in one trip. So we got to spend an extra half an hour together.
We laughed more on the drive-- there were a couple of times when he changed lanes and I looked to see if there was anyone next to us; habit from when I was driving.
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